Captions for Naked Photos I’ve Seen on the Net

nicorosso:

  1. “Yeah, I’m still here.  I’m listening.  It sounds like I’m in a public bathroom because I’m in a public bathroom.  No, I’m not going to the bathroom.  I’m taking a picture of my ass.”
  2. “Thanks so much for helping set up the brunch patio, but could you put some clothes on before the health department shuts us down?”
  3. “How are you going to drive that sports car naked, in those shoes?”
  4. “I can’t tell if that’s a real Le Corbusier LC4 Chaise or a knockoff.”
  5. “I just cut up a chicken on that counter, so you might want to wash up after you’re done writhing around on it.”
  6. “Now that’s what I call a shag carpet.”
  7. “Lady, you ain’t got no furniture in this here gigantic European apartment.”
  8. “Room service…whoa…”
  9. “Don’t get up. Looks like you had quite a fall down those stairs and lost most of your clothes on the way.  Just take a minute to wiggle your fingers and toes, don’t rush it.”
  10. “I appreciate you meeting with me, ma’am.  I expected to be talking to HR, not the CEO, but as you’ll see in my resume, I’m a quick learner with strong communication skills honed by years of…oh…uh…wow…”